nice try heather

check out this receipt i found in my desk at work today (some of you who contributed to the bill may have seen this before):

notice anything different? in case you missed it the waitress tried to pull a fast one. a big tab, to a group of guys... she went ahead and tacked on gratuity and then tried to be sneaky and cover it up, hoping to get tipped twice. i recognize the effort, but this is just shady. expecially when you are getting way too much of a tip for your poor service.

my advice to heather (the name of the server, atleast that is what it said on the top): maybe if you werent such a horrible waitress you wouldnt need to do things like this.

more animal news

Remember last month when I mentioned snakes and lizards? Well, they are both back in the news:

This is a strange solution to a problem. Apparently it is not all bad since he has two. Hmm, I wonder if that means he has four...

I am not sure that this is my idea of a relaxing message.

restroom choices and the people who make them

Before I begin, I wanted to give credit to sparks, who has already addressed this issue. I have thought about this a lot (on a daily basis actually) even before he ever posted about it. While he mentioned most of the key points, I wanted to share a few of my own thoughts.

There are many factors when choosing where to go the bathroom. I remember when I first saw this game, which covered most of the basic strategy. At my work, however, there are only 2 urinals (U) and 3 restroom stalls(S). They are along the wall, and for this discussion lets call them U1, U2, S3, S4, and S5. When using the urinals, the choice is fairly easy; in fact some would contend it doesn’t matter. I tend to agree, but could see why some prefer U1. The reason is only because U2 has the potential to be right up against S3, so in theory your feet might be within a foot of another restroom user. This might be a deciding factor in choosing between U1 and U2, but I actually opt for the cleaner choice.

In any case, the real decisions come in the area of the stalls. I would say that S5 (known as the VIP stall) is the top ranked stall in terms of facilities. It is the widest stall, and has hand rails (although who wants to touch them) on each side. S3 and S4 are equal, varying only in location. All three contain seat covers and dual action TP dispensing. I think that if all three are available, the most preferred stall is S5. It offers the most privacy and the most room. The only obvious negative is due to its location it is the stall that is most often, which increases the chances that someone will try to enter the stall while you are occupying it. This really only adds stress, as the locking mechanism is sufficient.

S4 used to be inoperable, because the lock was not functioning properly. However, due to recent maintenance upgrades the door is back in full swing. Previously you ran the risk of having the door open up while you were using the stall. S3 is what I call leadoff. This is because it is the first option presented when entering Stallville. Also, you are provided the least privacy in that every stall user passes by S3 and also because of the close proximity to U1 and especially U2. Depending on the degree of spread-eagleness used while in S3, it is theoretically possible that U2 and S3 could step on each others toes. Also, I have witnessed several co-workers number 1-ing in S3. I have never seen anyone number 1 in S4 or S5.

These are the physical considerations to make when deciding, but what is really important to an advanced user is the mental game. For example, in the case of emergencies, S3 is preferred. When you need to reach a stall as soon as possible, privacy and location go right down the tube. Another factor would be the mental cleanliness. I mean that if you know a lot of people have used the device before you, it is not delightful. I think S5 is the only choice that has ever ran out of TP, and the reason is because it is the most popular. If you are worried about sharing facilities with certain people, you are better off not using S5. Also S4 is stall-locked. If you don’t like having neighbors, than S4 becomes a non-option. Any future stall user will be located directly adjacent to you. On the other hand, if you are a footwear expert, this might also be called the information stall.

I think that S5 is the most popular, and until recently S3 was a fairly distant second. But as I said, S4 is back on the market and the usage is undergoing a re-distribution. I would say I visit the VIP stall the most, followed by S4 and then S3. I think a lot of S3 are creatures of habit. I don’t monitor everyone’s usage, but I will say I have seen a lot of the same people going into S3, and what’s more interesting is that I have never seen those people go in S4 or S5. I wish I could say I always choose S4, but sometimes it is just too hard to pass up the luxurious S5 and all that it has to offer.

Thoughts?

Do you think this is real?

This starts slow, but it is pretty funny

Maybe that's not exactly what she said...

I was just chatting with some co-workers at the water cooler (yes, this really happens) when I mixed in a "that's what she said." [TWSS]

There were two problems with this action. The first is that for the two co-workers, one male and one female, english is not their first language. The second problem was that they do not watch The Office. These two problems resulted in neither one getting the joke. I pretty much interrupted thier conversation just to crack myself up and say TWSS. I asked the guy how he was doing, and complimented him on his travel hot beverage container (like a spill-proof insulated coffee cup.) He replied something like 'thanks, yes the outside is cool looking" or something similar to that. I honestly can't remember. And then, unable to resist temptation, I blurted out TWSS.

Now I admit that my TWSS wasn't my best. And I am guilty of over-using certain sometimes hilarious phrases, although I am not sure this was one of those times. Well the guy responded with a courtesy chuckle, and I wasn't sure if he got it or not. As this was happening, he was already leaving the room. So after our exchange he was gone. It was then that the female said something under her breath. I couldn't hear it clearly, but it sounded like "I didn't say that." [GULP] Yikes, the only thing I had was the old "so, you drink coffee?" and judging by her casual response of "yes. a lot" I think I was able to play it off alright... (much better than the now imfamous 'How about those Redskins')

Serious Sirius

I recently got Sirius radio and felt obligated to post my thoughts on this product. Quite simply, it is awesome. I spend a fair amount of time in the car and I really enjoy having so many listening options. I would guess that in the last 2 weeks while listening to it (at least 14 hours probably more), I have listened to only about 5 or so complete songs. I am unable to stick with one song because I know on another station there is another great song, and I need to know what that song is. Journey, PC, Michael Jackson, Wham, etc. are never more than a scroll button away. I think Its almost like I have a personal assistant who has the soul task of thinking of random songs. The satisfaction is similar to playing the baseball player name game, needing a name that starts with L and coming up with Lee Tunnell...

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Updated

After posting that link I got really excited and found some other great links:

This guy may be related to a regular reader.
This guy was one of my favorite players in the 80s.
This and this are two of the few 80's players I don't remember.
Who hasn't heard of this guy?

quote of the day

i was watching an old episode of Real World (from last week) where two roommates were talking about the girl hooking up with another roommate. here is what was said:

girl- i completely understand that davis... is not ever going to be interested in me and anything more than a friend. i dont want it to go further than that. i dont. and as soon as i think its going to go further than that, and thats what he wants, eww, not interested. bye.

boy- you basically just described a [blank] tease.

girl- yeah, i am a tease. but the difference is i like to like flirt and everything. i dont like to go beyond that. unless its someone who i really really like.

So what is the difference again?

oh The Office

If you know me then you know I have always loved (and continue to love) The Office. Knowing that, it should not surprise you that today I put someone's cell phone in the ceiling. For your information, it worked just like on the show, minus the hole in the wall. I think of it as the first of many paybacks from this.

In any event, I suggest you find someone at your office who doesnt watch The Office and put their cell phone in the ceiling.

random reality TV update

Reading Mikes post reminded me of a show I watched Tuesday night called Maui Fever. I know you are probably thinking that I watched it last night, but you are incorrect. I sort of like this new afternoon sneak thing that MTV is doing. Since I dont watch and of the shows when they are on live anyways, it lessens the amount of Tivo conflicts. Now real world, the duel, maui fever, etc. can be recorded during the afternoon. good thinking MTV.

as far as this new show, it seems pretty good. by good, i mean horrible, but just the same as laguna beach or the hills. AKA i will watch it. its a bunch of guys who live and work in hawaii at a surf school. they basically make it their mission to hook up with vacationing snatch.

after the first episode we know most of the main characters (i think). there is this one short guy who is pretty gross and your typically d bag. however, he pretty much tells it like it is and can be brutally honest, which provides humor. its hard not to kind of like him, he isnt a total jerk, just a sleezy guy trying to get girls and you have to respect his effort. then you got long hair surfer guy, who used to date one of the other main characters and now dates this other girl. i am pretty sure this drama is going to be a central theme. he is roommates with his boy (i still dont know any names) who used to date the girls friend but isnt over her. she sucks. then there are a couple other bras who they hang around with.
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i hope wes wins the duel tonight (i think the finale is on...)
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i was asked to provide a recap of beauty and the geek, and because this is the peoples blog i recorded and viewed it last night. it was pretty good. here are my thoughts (i have only seen pieces of one or two other episodes so its based on last nights episode)

-that on guy who looks pretty good should surprise anyone. i thought it was clear he was going to be one of the better looking ones.

-i liked the blonde girl (who won the challenge last night) until it became her time to choose the people in the elimination. why was she crying? and why was she mad at her partner? it doesnt make any sense. they are in a game and competing, so the guy was trying to get rid of the strongest people. that is exactly what he should be doing. meanwhile, blondie was getting all bent out of shape about it. and worse, she was the one trying to talk about it but was presenting the WORST argument. for some reason she couldnt even stand her partner. she couldnt even look at him because she was so disgusted. really, her partner was right when he said to the camera that she isnt used to guys standing up to her. (this would be better if i knew the names) the asian guy did the smart thing, and his boy (the guy he picked) wasnt even made because he understands. the blonde girl was the one who liked the other guy and thats why she wanted to keep him around.

-i thought the elimination sucked because it was mostly luck. the questions were not all the same difficulty, and i thought whoever picked that difficult question was getting bounced. it looked like a sweep, but that one team picked all the difficult question (especially compared to the questions the winning team got)

-i thought it was funny when the nerds (one in particular) was talking about not dressing trendy, right in front of the host. he wasnt trying to be mean but he was ragging on a style, which was exactly what the host was wearing.

-one of two of those girls has big boobs

-i saw one of the blones on MTV's Next a few weeks ago.

-the auction was set up in a bad way, it is not surprise at all that the bids ending up being in order, first was the lowest and last was highest. i think that had little to do with the contestants. i mean, there was one or two guys who werent going to win. but the girls in the crowd know whats up, they are laughing amongst themselves. its not entirely a joke, but its far from a serious neutral evaluation/appraisal.

-nerdbomber, dont ask a girl what her name is after you have been talking to her for a long time. even if you forget, show some savvy and figure it out later.

I still want candy

About a month or so ago, a co-worker brought a kid into work. While in our office, the child left a tiny pair of sunglasses. I am not sure if they were for the kid, or a prop for a doll or some other type of toy. In any case, these small sunglasses have been in our office for over a month. I first noticed the glasses when they appeared in our candy basket. I am not sure why there were there, most likely they got accidentally placed in there, perhaps even left behind by the child while making a dash to the candy.

Despite the fact that I thought this was an unusual place for such an item, I left them in the basket. The next day I walked over to get a piece of candy and saw the glasses had been moved. They were now located on the desk next to the candy basket. Being me, I moved them back into the candy bowl. At the time this action was nearly instictive. I guess I was half feeling that they for some reason belonged in the basket and the other half of me was trying to 'beat' the person who removed them.

Well a month later I am still replacing the glasses in the basket. It is clear that there is 1 person here at work who hates it. Everyday since then, I have taken the glasses and put them back in the basket. Then the next day I return to find them not in the basket.

The reason I bring this up is because yesterday I was unable to locate the glasses. There had been a slight evolution regarding the displacement of the glasses. The first week or two they were always placed adjacent to the basket. The after a week or two I would find them on the other side of the desk (on which the candy basket rests.) Then after another week or two I would find them in the kitchen. I am not sure why the remover would choose to relocate them in the kitchen. In any case I always brought them back to the candy bowl. Then last week they were in the copy room, inside a desk organizer that is intented (I think) to hold pens, pencils and perhaps scissors.

However, yesterday I could not find the glasses. It sounds like this is a game to which I devote much time each day, and that is not the case. I never really look for the glasses, I always just eventually find them during the day while working. But it was almost noon yesterday (just about the time I had the idea to blog about it) and I could not locate the glasses. I emailed my friends around the office asking them if they had seen the glasses. At this point in time I dont think anyone other than the remover even knew this was going on. Most normal people around the office probably noticed that the glasses were sometimes in then candy bowl, but they didnt care about it. Anyways, after my email Ben found the glasses in the trash can near the candy bowl. What is the deal with that? My rival just crossed the line.

So of course when Ben handed me the glassses I walked right over to the candy bowl and casually put it back in there. I felt slightly bad for the office becasue they now had an item that was in the trash can in the candy bowl. But the trash can serves really only the printer and the candy bowl, and the only things that are ever in it are paper and wrappers. Also all of the candy is individually wrapped, and I would say my co-workers hands are probably more contaminated than the rubbish.

After putting the glasses back, I walked over to chat with Eric. Upon returning, the glasses were already back in the trash can. Uh oh, my adversary had acted in a manner more prompt than ever before. Oh, let me also say that I feel fairly certain that I know who I am competing with. Without getting into too much personal detail, there is only one person in our office that I think would act in this manner. PS he also sits near the candy basket.

So I returned to the basket and was observing the trash reciptical when the suspected perp rose from his desk. Without making eye contact I grabbed a sheet of paper off the printer, began fake reading it, and retreated to my desk. Then once I saw the perp occupied at his desk (in the form of a visitor) I requested that Ben assist me and retrieve the glasses. Not to be confused with Jack Bauer, Ben was able to stealthly bring the optical device to me. Shortly thereafter I returned the eagle to the nest and snapped the above picture.

As of about 10:30 this morning, the glasses were still in the basket of candy among the laffy taffy and tootsie pops. It is worth noting that the suspected guilty party had not arrived at work at that time. He has, however, since entered the premises. And now I am not sure how long the glasses are going to remain where they belong.

Oh Patriots, I love you

Obviously I was pumped when the Pats pulled out the W yesterday, in a game I honestly thought they would have a hard time winning. In any case, I was reading about LT going nuts after the game. Apparently some Patriot player did the Merriman dance at midfield which pissed off the Chargers, in particular, LT.

Here is a quote from Merriman regarding the celebration, "It was upsetting to see because they won three Super Bowls"

I think that is funny. I dont know Shawne Merriman, but that is not a smart sounding thing to say. To me, it means that he is basically saying he would have done the same thing and it would have been ok, because his team has not had the success of the Patriots. That makes no sense. Probably the players could have celebrated in a better way, that wouldnt have bothered the Chargers so much. And I believe LT when he says he would never do something like that. He would also never warm up wearing a jersey that said "Ocho Cinco" or would have promise a victory, or would he celebrate much after setting the single season scoring record.

And the Pats are my favorite team so maybe my opinion shouldnt count. But this is football (and you got caught using steroids!) Suddenly outrageous celebration is a bad thing? Merriman does the spaz dance after a single sack and suddenly after an underdog team defeats the number 1 seed on the road it isnt a time to celebrate? It annoys me that he said that. I am quite sure Merriman talks plenty of smack all the time. And I am not defending the way the Patriots celebrated, I am just saying get over it. The Patriots are celebrating that way for the same reason the Chargers players are mad. It was a very close, emotional, intense game, that both teams wanted to win.

Here is what my favorite Charger player (P Rivers) said about it, "They won and they deserve a lot of credit. Personally I was disappointed in the way they handled winning. They're playing next week and we're not." He will just learn from the game, and use it to improve and as motivation.

I suppose I am just saying the Chargers are being a bit hypocritical, they are expecting the Pats to be good winners, and meanwhile they are being sore losers (and implying they would be bad winners also, but they are for some reason entitled to it.)

I want candy

This is reminds me of Erics post a few months ago... Last week there was a box that contained 36 3 Musketeers bars. It was placed on a shelf at my desk on Thursday morning. At the end of the day, there were approximately 27 candy bars remaining (the pack contains 3 levels of 12 bars, and there were more than 2 full rows so I know there was more than 24.) On Friday, I was in the office only for about 45 minutes. I then left for 2 meetings and then went straight home. I returned to work this morning and there are exactly zero candy bars remaining. I am shocked. How can this happen? I know of about 5 or 6 other people who were also out of the office or on vacation or something on Friday. There might be 50 or more people who work in this office, but in any given day there are usually only around 40 people here. Last Friday I would estimate there were less than that, probably closer to 30. And somehow more than 25 candy bars were eaten. And these aren’t small candy bars, they are full size.

Honestly I am not at all surprised. It seems like anytime there is anything free around here it doesn’t last long. It is sort of annoying, although I really have no right to be upset. They weren’t even my candy bars (well they sort of were since another guy brought them in and gave them to me, but his intention was to take them to work to get rid of them, not to give me a personal gift…which is why I put them out for the taking.) I think the reason it bothers me is because I can imagine how people were scheming. I don’t mind at all the people who I am friends with eating them. I just feel like word got around spread like wildfire, and suddenly people were calling home to ask their kids if they want a delicious 3 Musketeers bar. And I think it bothers me since I wasn’t here. Yet I doubt it if anyone asked. They probably just walked buy and jacked one. I am calling it stealing because they are clearly in my desk area. I wish I had a hidden camera.

I am considering sending out an office wide email asking anyone who stole one of my candy bars to please bring me 65 cents. Or I could get another box and do something to them (I thought of many ways to do this but will leave it up to your imagination) then leave the bars out and never mention them. See who comes by and takes one without asking, then in a day or two leave a picture or some proof of me messing with them. [there still warm... i think i've had these before...]

PS you know you recognize (and love) the title of this post!

Real Estate Market Value

Let me first start by saying I have very little knowledge and experience when it comes to investing, real estate, or any kind of financial management. However, I check the MLS listings (this is just the site I use, there are many others...), craigslist, and other for sale listings almost everyday. And I constantly see the same thing, which I think might be a bit untrue.

Here is a perfect example. If you think about what they are saying, you might feel as though I do. The seller is claiming that by purchasing this house, you will gain instant equity. I think that they are intending to say that the house will immediately gain more value, or its worth more than what you bought it for.

This is where i dont agree. Imagine you but his house for $300K. Now instantly, for no reason, the house is worth $315K? Isnt the value of an item in a free market defined by how much someone will pay for that item? Isnt the true value of this house $300K, because that is how much you bought it for? I believe it is. I admit this value could have something to do with other market factors like interest rate or supply of similiar houses, but its still the market value. There might be small benefits if you are able to appraise the house for more (like what this owner claims) if you plan on getting a line of credit against your house. But other than that, I don't see why it matters. Not to mention it seems in the best interest of appraisers to appraise a little on the high side. That promotes buying and lending, and guess who benefits from that...

Basically, in my opinion, this is just a ploy to try and get someone to buy the house. Its kind of like when a house is listed at a price, and not purchased. Then the price goes down, because the seller wants to sell it. It can be a selling point by a seller to say that the price was just lowered or its $X less than originally listed. That doesnt mean anything because clearly nobody was buying it at that price.

And I still havent commented on the thing that really bothers me in real estate transactions, and that is realtors. I have no idea how they still manage to get $18K for seller the above house. It is rediculous. I think in certain situations (like moving into an area you are unfamiliar with, or selling your house from out of state...) they can be valuable. But if you are willing to do the research, all the information that they provide you is available free. And trust me buying a house without one is not difficult. I knew nothing going in and was able to buy a house directly from an owner. (I do feel bad that I had to 'breakup' with my realtor, I just didnt see how it was worth the money.) Perhaps that is a way to get instant equity... if the exact same house gets sold for $X with an agent, and you sell yours for the same price without an agent, you just made 6% right off the bat...

The Apprentice LA

I watched The Apprentice last night because I know one of the contestants. I played baseball with and against Aaron through high school and college. He played baseball at a neighboring HS, then at a rival college, and during those times we played on the same summer team. I saw last week in the local newspaper that he was going to be on the show so I Tivo-ed it.

I have watched most of the previous seasons of The Apprentice, and I think he has a shot to make it pretty far. Normally the crazy/psycho/strange/unique people go home first, a trend that continued last night. The guy who got bounced was well educated, but just didn't fit in with the rest of the contestants. The losing project manager, Frank, was perhaps the most annoying candidate I can remember. He is frustrating loud and talks far too much (I know I hate those kind of people) at the wrong times. Then again, he he has a lot of energy, although I think he came off as being desperate.

Last night, while watching, I was reminded of the reality show strategy. Trump was asking each team member who they would fire. Half of the candidates said one guy and the other half said the project manager. Well the PM is the person who selects the other people that will go to the board room. AKA, its in a candidates best interest to not be selected for the board room. Which means being on the good side of your PM. So even though you might think he is responsible, you need to be careful what you say. If you call him out in front of Trump, there is a chance that he will bring you into the boardroom. Whereas if you defend him (even if you think he was responsible) you increase your chance of sticking around. So its a tough balancing act of providing meaningful responses to Trump's questions (he will call you out, he knows whats up) but managing the relationships with your peers.

In any case I will continue watching at least until Aaron gets eliminated. I never was in school with him but I think he was a good student. I know he is a hard working and down to earth guy, and he is very likeable. The one thing that will be interesting to watch will be if/when he goes in the boardroom.

did this just happen?

check out how quickly the mood changed- he is only 10 weeks old. Thats my boy!

Carlos playing with his toy

Here is a video of our new family member...

pictures of Carlos

try this

the mission is to put the entire piece of candy pictured below into your mouth, and eat it while talking to someone. i would be shocked if this can be done without drooling. as far as i know, it is impossible. for those of you who dont have the bar sized j rancher, try it with a candy cane. the difficult part is that you can't use your hands.

Happy New Year

I have been quite busy the last week or so and haven't had time to write anything. There are two things that happened recently that are pretty important to me. I got a dog and passed the PE. I think maybe tonight I will post some pictures of our new roommate.