Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I still want candy

About a month or so ago, a co-worker brought a kid into work. While in our office, the child left a tiny pair of sunglasses. I am not sure if they were for the kid, or a prop for a doll or some other type of toy. In any case, these small sunglasses have been in our office for over a month. I first noticed the glasses when they appeared in our candy basket. I am not sure why there were there, most likely they got accidentally placed in there, perhaps even left behind by the child while making a dash to the candy.

Despite the fact that I thought this was an unusual place for such an item, I left them in the basket. The next day I walked over to get a piece of candy and saw the glasses had been moved. They were now located on the desk next to the candy basket. Being me, I moved them back into the candy bowl. At the time this action was nearly instictive. I guess I was half feeling that they for some reason belonged in the basket and the other half of me was trying to 'beat' the person who removed them.

Well a month later I am still replacing the glasses in the basket. It is clear that there is 1 person here at work who hates it. Everyday since then, I have taken the glasses and put them back in the basket. Then the next day I return to find them not in the basket.

The reason I bring this up is because yesterday I was unable to locate the glasses. There had been a slight evolution regarding the displacement of the glasses. The first week or two they were always placed adjacent to the basket. The after a week or two I would find them on the other side of the desk (on which the candy basket rests.) Then after another week or two I would find them in the kitchen. I am not sure why the remover would choose to relocate them in the kitchen. In any case I always brought them back to the candy bowl. Then last week they were in the copy room, inside a desk organizer that is intented (I think) to hold pens, pencils and perhaps scissors.

However, yesterday I could not find the glasses. It sounds like this is a game to which I devote much time each day, and that is not the case. I never really look for the glasses, I always just eventually find them during the day while working. But it was almost noon yesterday (just about the time I had the idea to blog about it) and I could not locate the glasses. I emailed my friends around the office asking them if they had seen the glasses. At this point in time I dont think anyone other than the remover even knew this was going on. Most normal people around the office probably noticed that the glasses were sometimes in then candy bowl, but they didnt care about it. Anyways, after my email Ben found the glasses in the trash can near the candy bowl. What is the deal with that? My rival just crossed the line.

So of course when Ben handed me the glassses I walked right over to the candy bowl and casually put it back in there. I felt slightly bad for the office becasue they now had an item that was in the trash can in the candy bowl. But the trash can serves really only the printer and the candy bowl, and the only things that are ever in it are paper and wrappers. Also all of the candy is individually wrapped, and I would say my co-workers hands are probably more contaminated than the rubbish.

After putting the glasses back, I walked over to chat with Eric. Upon returning, the glasses were already back in the trash can. Uh oh, my adversary had acted in a manner more prompt than ever before. Oh, let me also say that I feel fairly certain that I know who I am competing with. Without getting into too much personal detail, there is only one person in our office that I think would act in this manner. PS he also sits near the candy basket.
So I returned to the basket and was observing the trash reciptical when the suspected perp rose from his desk. Without making eye contact I grabbed a sheet of paper off the printer, began fake reading it, and retreated to my desk. Then once I saw the perp occupied at his desk (in the form of a visitor) I requested that Ben assist me and retrieve the glasses. Not to be confused with Jack Bauer, Ben was able to stealthly bring the optical device to me. Shortly thereafter I returned the eagle to the nest and snapped the above picture.
As of about 10:30 this morning, the glasses were still in the basket of candy among the laffy taffy and tootsie pops. It is worth noting that the suspected guilty party had not arrived at work at that time. He has, however, since entered the premises. And now I am not sure how long the glasses are going to remain where they belong.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you should have begun the blog with something like..."The following takes place between 1:00 pm and 2:00 pm"

for whatever reason, it was somewhat 24ish, which is always fun.

i look forward to an update. fyi, jack bauer would kill the perp. it may come to that if necessary.

Anonymous said...

Great comment about Jack Bauer, but I think Jack would probably dismantle the "perp's" faculties and interrogate the glasses bandit until the offender dies without learning much information.

I couldn't help but think Jim Halpert was f'ing with Dwight Shrute the entire time I was reading this post.

Cuz, this is just one of a few instances I hear about your office that makes me want to be there since I feel it is eerily similar to Dunder Mifflin.

Eric said...

What the f. You're telling me that there were Tootsie Pops in the candy basket this morning. I love those damn things but every time I check the basket all I find are banana and peppermint Laffy Taffy, which suck.

Brian said...

dp- i dont have time to explain it, but you have to trust me. i just need you to keep checking my blog.

bd- thanks for the props (i consider and comparision to jim/dwight/the office a compliment)

em- yes, i enjoyed an orange T pop this morning. the only fun part of the LTaffy is of course shaking it

mike (via JW)- remember that time you were telling me about how your lava lamp got stolen from your desk... i think i know where it went

Anonymous said...

What can I say but hilarious....

Mike said...

Wait, why wouldn't sunglasses belong in the candy bowl? It seems perfectly sensible to me.

JWT - I enjoy that you always comment about me on other peoples blogs, but I'm not sure how I feel about your life revolving around me.

Brian - The crazy thing is the lava lamp isn't the biggest thing that's gone missing.

Anonymous said...

Very funny.

Off topic - Can we expect a "Beauty and the Geek" blog entry any time soon? My favorite episode of the season airs tonight!

Amy said...

Want to win? Get yourself some crazy glue.

chuck zoi said...

This sounds like something a fat chick would do (throw away the glasses. They take candy really seriously.

Anonymous said...

Found you randomly... this story made me laugh out loud!