Miss USA falls to fifth place

I was watching the Miss Universe pageant the other night when Miss USA fell down. I was absolutely shocked and super excited at the same time. I have known for years that if I were in one of those competitions, that I would trip on purpose. I have been taking intentional spills for years. I have done it in restaurants, amusement parks, movie theaters, even in touch football games. And while Miss USA's was likely accidental, I would like to share my thoughts on intentional falls. (I hope there isn't an unwritten code among fallers and if so i apologize for what I am about to share...)

Let me say right off the bat that pretty much anytime there is a group of people watching it is appropriate. It starts with some subtle action that gets attention. If you are in the movie theater this means a louder than average whisper to everyone around you notifying them that you are going to the bathroom (or to refill your drink or popcorn, etc.) This slightly disturbs everyone around you, but only enough for them to notice you, not enough to bother them. If you are in a restaurant, when getting up from your chair you would want to bang it into the table or make some noise while pushing it in after you have stood up.
Now that the stage is set, you need to look intense. If you are having trouble understanding this, simulate that you need to get to the bathroom immediately or are going to answer the phone. There needs to be some urgency and intensity for a good fall. Before you move into your fall, you also need to check around the area for potential causes like steps or a change in flooring(you need to convince your audience it is real.) The other advance scouting that you need to do is for items that can cause you harm. You need to stay clear of sharp objects, edges, and slippery surfaces that can do damage. The entire joke is on you if you injure yourself while fake falling (reminds me of Jim Edmonds playing the outfield...)
The most important falling technique that you will want to employ is exceptional body control. In a real fall peoples arms and legs flail, sometimes uncontrollably (also feel free to spill a drink or throw popcorn...) I know I sometimes look for this body motion when watching soccer. There are tons of people diving trying to draw fouls but when someone gets taken down for real its not graceful and their legs are rarely straight and together. To reiterate, you don't want to risk injury. This is just a tip for experienced and advanced fallers.
The last crucial element to a good fall is how you handle the fall. You have to remember that you are trying to look like you didn't fall on purpose so you need to act exactly how a person who fell on accident would look. In other words you need to look embarrassed and be trying to play it off so keep your head down and quickly get out of sight without smiling. You want to make the audience think that they caught you falling. You can't ever let them know that they fell for your joke. The best falls are the ones where people don't believe that you did on purpose. For people who don't know you, they may never believe you. So you have to understand this going in and be able to accept that you might be the only person who actually knows. In that sense it is a very unselfish joke. You may be the butt of many future jokes, but you will always know that it is you who has the superior ability to create laughter.