Miss USA falls to fifth place

I was watching the Miss Universe pageant the other night when Miss USA fell down. I was absolutely shocked and super excited at the same time. I have known for years that if I were in one of those competitions, that I would trip on purpose. I have been taking intentional spills for years. I have done it in restaurants, amusement parks, movie theaters, even in touch football games. And while Miss USA's was likely accidental, I would like to share my thoughts on intentional falls. (I hope there isn't an unwritten code among fallers and if so i apologize for what I am about to share...)

Let me say right off the bat that pretty much anytime there is a group of people watching it is appropriate. It starts with some subtle action that gets attention. If you are in the movie theater this means a louder than average whisper to everyone around you notifying them that you are going to the bathroom (or to refill your drink or popcorn, etc.) This slightly disturbs everyone around you, but only enough for them to notice you, not enough to bother them. If you are in a restaurant, when getting up from your chair you would want to bang it into the table or make some noise while pushing it in after you have stood up.
Now that the stage is set, you need to look intense. If you are having trouble understanding this, simulate that you need to get to the bathroom immediately or are going to answer the phone. There needs to be some urgency and intensity for a good fall. Before you move into your fall, you also need to check around the area for potential causes like steps or a change in flooring(you need to convince your audience it is real.) The other advance scouting that you need to do is for items that can cause you harm. You need to stay clear of sharp objects, edges, and slippery surfaces that can do damage. The entire joke is on you if you injure yourself while fake falling (reminds me of Jim Edmonds playing the outfield...)
The most important falling technique that you will want to employ is exceptional body control. In a real fall peoples arms and legs flail, sometimes uncontrollably (also feel free to spill a drink or throw popcorn...) I know I sometimes look for this body motion when watching soccer. There are tons of people diving trying to draw fouls but when someone gets taken down for real its not graceful and their legs are rarely straight and together. To reiterate, you don't want to risk injury. This is just a tip for experienced and advanced fallers.
The last crucial element to a good fall is how you handle the fall. You have to remember that you are trying to look like you didn't fall on purpose so you need to act exactly how a person who fell on accident would look. In other words you need to look embarrassed and be trying to play it off so keep your head down and quickly get out of sight without smiling. You want to make the audience think that they caught you falling. You can't ever let them know that they fell for your joke. The best falls are the ones where people don't believe that you did on purpose. For people who don't know you, they may never believe you. So you have to understand this going in and be able to accept that you might be the only person who actually knows. In that sense it is a very unselfish joke. You may be the butt of many future jokes, but you will always know that it is you who has the superior ability to create laughter.

you know what they say about big hands...

After reading this article it should be no surprise to anyone that knows me that my hand looks like this:

American Idol Finale

With the finale of American Idol on tonight, I thought I would share my view on the two finalists. From the beginning I have liked Blake, especially his ability to modernize otherwise boring songs. Some probably fault him for this, claiming all his songs sound the same. And to those I say that you are right, but at least he has a style that is his own. I get the impression that when he does make his own records that is what they will sound like so it doesn't bother me. Jordin has also become one of my favorites as the season went along. I think it was because of her combination of singing ability and youthful charm. All the other good singing contestants were old and boring. I never found myself rooting for any of them no matter how well they could sing.

I think that Jordin will win, but that in the end it won't matter. It seems like most seasons there are a few singers who launch themselves into the music scene and start a career. And I think that will happen for both of these contestants.

For those who can't resist, check the prediction website that I linked once before in this post.

one of those guys you just know you dont like

the two main reasons that i never liked the band Creed was because of their music and because of their lead singer. luckily i hadn't heard anything about either in a long time until i read this.

interesting video

The creators of this video left a comment left on MBB about the mini-beard.

The Botchelor final 2 roses

Last night the Bachelor eliminated Danielle I. I did not find this surprising given that he really likes BHT and that Bevin really likes him. That left normal Danielle as the odd women out, go figure. According to Amanda, A-ball already hit a home run with Bevin. Which reminds me, as a side note to future Bachelor contestants, dont sleep with the bachelor. It does not increase your chances, in fact it probably decreases them. Now AB can select BHT and its a win-win. He got with the girl he was attracted to, but yet he will be able to pick the girl he really wants to be with.

I think the final decision is classic bachelor finale drama. He has BHTessa, who he really likes and gets along with. He is really attracted to her and has been trying to get her to like him the entire season. Then he has Bevin, who has really like Andy the entire season. He seems to really like both of the girls, but he is caught between going for the safe/smart choice, and the risky pick. There is typically one girl who you know really has fallen for him and will do anything for him. Then the other has sort of stood out with her resistance to fall head over heels over him all season. And this only makes the bachelor more attracted to her. But it is a classic final decision.

Here are the 10 bachelors including a-bal and what i remember about their final choices:
Alex Michel (dont remember the choices, but didnt take Trista. no risky choices that i remember)
Aaron Buerge (didnt take the hot southern blonde who was in love with him, instead opted for NJ girl that wasn't as into him)
Andrew Firestone (selected Jen who was a good choice but maybe not as open as other girls)
Bob Guiney (didnt watch this season)
Jesse Palmer (cant remember much of this season either, but i think he took that blonde girl)
Byron Velvick (i think this season worked out for real, probably because he was older)
Charlie O'Connell (cant remember this season)
Dr. Travis Lane Stork (picked the 'safe' choice of sarah, who was rated higher on paper but it appeared he lacked chemistry with...)
Prince Lorenzo Borghese (lobo bozo took jen instead of sadie. what a botch, still dont understand that one...)
Andy Baldwin (BHT or Bevs?)

I think ABal ends up taking Tessa, and it could work out. I think she is normal for being slow to fall in love with Andy and I dont blame her for this. It just makes her unique for these reality dating shows where people fall in love in 2 weeks on 4 dates.

on this date...

On May 15, 1998, Billy Copeland aka "The Rocket Man" (pictured celebrating March 23rd) set a record on a skateboard by going 70 mph. He did this by attaching rockets to his board. If you are interested, you should check out his website.

double bogey

Looks like Todd McCorkle quit his job as the Georgia Women's golf coach. This does not seem surprising considering he showed his team the Paris Hilton sex video. I am trying, but just can't imagine a scenario where that would be appropriate.

guess who's back

I appologize to both of my regular readers for the recent lack of posts. my schedule has been pretty busy and i just havent been able to make time for my blog. as a way to get back into blog mode, i am going to comment on a few random things that are on my mind.

-the survivor finale was absolutely terrible. every year i forget how much i hate the jury part of tribal council. i can't believe how bitter everyone gets. my number 1 most hated thing about survivor is that at the end of the season, all the people who have been voted off try to bring up dirt on the remaining players. they accuse them of lying and being sneaky. now i have never been on survivor, but i am pretty sure that is how you play the game. the reason that those bitter people are asking the questions (and not answering them) is because they were not as good at being shady as the others. i get so frustrated by it. last night it was especially bad, with lici, alex and boo highlighting the annoyingness. and on the other side dreamz was jsut as bad. all anyone wanted was him to admit that when he made the deal with yao that he intended to keep it. then he thought about it and decided against it. instead he tried to act like he was playing yao all along. you mean to tell me that when he was talking to the camera immediately after the deal about having his son watch the show and keep his word, he was lying? i highly doubt it and thought it was totally clear that initially he intended on keeping his word.

-i think that the big-faced girl will win the botchelor. the problem remains that she doesn't like him, but i don't see that being a huge problem until the show ends. i though it was strange that amber (i think that was her name) parents didn't want to be on the show. i can understand that they may not support this type of show, but i thought it was kind of a dagger. instead of meeting the parents A-Bal was stuck hanging out with a couple of college girls. i really think if she had normal parents and it went well that she could still be around. which goes to show you why these shows do not have a high success rate for building lasting relationships.

-i went to this nerd conference a few weeks ago and arrived late. as a result i took the first seat i could find which was cramped between a woman and the orally loudest guy i have ever met. this guy made so much noise that after an hour or two i moved. it kind of reminded me of when my dog eats something he shouldn't. you know, the constant trying to swallow action combined with jaw/saliva motion. or when he is chewing on his bone, you just hear lots of mouth noises. the first few minutes i thought maybe he had dumped a box of nerds, two tablespoons of peanut butter, and some saltines into his mouth and was trying to eat them all at the same time. but then i realized he wasnt eating anything, he was just constantly moving his tongue and lips around. all this noise combined with my physical position of straddling two sets of posts at the connection of two adjacent tables caused me to go crazy.

-monica and dave made the trip down this way last week and stopped by in the LeBaron to meet carlos and eat a meal of food at eggspectations. as usually i was very eggcited to go there and the food did not disappoint. however, the service was eggceptionally slow and the waitress scrambled to keep up with her tables.

the grass is always greener

i have very little tennis experience, but i have never seen anything like this. side note: in case you didnt know i think federer is sweet. mainly because of his total dominance on the court, but i think his awesomeness extends off the court. i cant find it online but there was an article about him in SI from early april (this is the best i could find.)