What?

This post is about something I have been meaning to write about for a while. I know that there will be future posts on this topic because there are many things I have to say about it. This was not one of them, but it is so interesting that I decided to post it immediately.

I was just in the restroom at work. A guy, who I have never seen before, walks in. He goes right past the urinals and into stall number 2, more on stall locations and preferences in a future post. He makes some noise and then begins going to the bathroom. He is still standing. Hopefully that clarifies what number he is going (no the story is not about some random guy going #2 while standing, although if that happened I would also post about it immediately.)

In any case, after what seems like 7-8 seconds he concludes his action and fastens appropriate clothing. It is at this point that I am now washing my hands. I am not one of those obsessive germ people, but I certainly wash my hands after I use the bathroom. I also dry my hands and always grab an extra paper towel to use to touch the door on the way out. Because it seems almost pointless to wash my hands and then touch a door that was just touched by some other guy who was just handling his... it is not my personal germs that I fear. I wash my hands more because of the entire bathroom experience, not just because of what I touched. Honestly, my hygiene is strong to quite strong.

Anyways, back to the stranger. I am still washing away, using soap that actually smells pretty good. But not nearly as nice as the stuff they have in the womens bathroom. Dont ask me how i know. So mystery guy walks up to the other sink (there are two) and turns it on. Normal so far, except for the private number one-ing in the stall, which isnt that strange. I could understand that. So the water is running. I am nearly finished washing my hands and now am just checking out my game (hair) for the day. Doesnt look that good, and I could use a haircut. My eyes move slightly to my left as new-guy is also looking at himself in the mirror with the water on.

He is moving again. He is leaning forward. He reaches out with his right hand and makes it into a cup. He is having a drink. He sips twice, refills his hand, and repeats. He went to the bathroom, touched the stall door, the toilet, his unit, the sink and is now drinking. There is a water fountain 3 feet from the entrance to the restroom. There are also 2 different water coolers in our office. Then he turns off the water and moves towards the paper towels. At this point I have made eye contact with myself in the mirror and am cracking up. I try to make a fake deep breathe/sigh to cover it up but I am not sure if it worked. I turn off the water, dry my hands and follow him out smiling. Is this guy for real?

random thought

i wanted to post that its a goal of mine to attend the golden globes.

not as a fan, but as a guest, for having achieved something. because no matter what it is, you know its a big deal. you will be able to look around and think to yourself "this is it. i am awesome."

WSOP Update

From CardPlayer:

All-In Called with 8-High
On a flop of 10c 7c 5s , Tim Rod bets $300 and his opponent raises to $600. Rod calls and the turn puts the 3c on the board. Rod again bets out with $1,500 and is again raised by his opponent to $4,000. Rod calls and the river puts the 3s on the board. Rod pushes all-in and his opponent immediately calls. Rod flips up Kc Qc for a turned flush. His opponent says, "Do I have a straight flush? Oh, no I don't" as he shows 8d 6s for 8-high.

How can you CALL with 8 high? Nice way to blow $10,000. I can understand maybe trying to represent a full boat and going all in and getting called by the non-nut flush. But that is just a terrible play in my opinion.

Annoying McBadass, F.T.J.S.

I was reading an email at work today and i realized that it is annoying to me when people list letters after their name. I understand the obvious ones, like MD, PE (atleast in my profession its pretty significant), even PhD, but what bothers me is the other ones that in my opinion are not significant enough to add the letters.

For instance masters degrees. I have one. I dont need to put a bunch of letters at the end of my name to tell everyone. Like hey everyone, I am so awesome I went to school for an extra year(or two). I paid extra for this! It doesnt make you better than someone else. Another is a member in a society (this is the one that motivated me to make this post). A society that you pay to join. Oh hey co-worker, i pay money to join this professional club. And not only that, but I am so old and have been in it so long and paid so much money that they bumped my status from associate to member.

Anyways, i am considering editing my email signature and adding the following after my name:

MCE, SM ASCE, M ASHE, SC CSX, EIT

So if we are going to go that far to brag about ourselves but try and act like we are not, we might as well think of some others that people can start adding. Some I thought of:

APA (Amateur Pornographic Actor/Actress)
DIC (Dislikes Ice Cream)
VT (Very Tall)
L2B (Loves Bunsen Burners)
KHE (Keeps Hamsters for Entertainment)
WG (Wears Glasses)
BR (Big on Rules)
AD (Administered a Dagger)
BAMF (depends on context, either from Samuel L Jacksons wallet or Bet Against Matt Frese)

Wouldnt that make my roommate Eric Mack D.I.C.K.H.E.A.D.?

take your shirt off...

greetings from NC. in case you were wondering, it seems journey is so hot right now down here.

other random thoughts:

i love the plethora of chic-fil-a's in NC
download and play Chowder! some SAT fun...
college brian:Snood::brian::Chowder!
i dont love the 10" of rain we got in the last few hours
raleigh-wood airport reminds me of wings. too bad helen wasnt working today (also there wasnt not snizzle at the el aeropuerto.)
waking up due to touching down while on a flight is sort of scary
it seems there is a higher percentage fo SUV's in NC than in other areas
check out the silt fence. its gone.

this blog is like the washington post, if you dont get it, you dont get it.

what?

one the funniest things i have seen

This person
Wearing this

I promise, I actually saw this. Priceless.

ouch

have you ever started a blog because you think they are really awesome, and been so excited about your blog that you posted too much and the quality of your posts suffered? then you read your first couple of posts and realized that they suck. i have.

insulting phrases? [spoken like "illegal channels?]

sometimes (ok, almost always) it is fun to play a little game that i just named the implication game. those of you who know me have probably experienced at one time or another. and you probably loved it. the implication game can be played by yourself or with friends. but to play, you need at least one other person to be the subject of the game.

it is played by doing or saying something that may be interpreted as offensive. but the real key to the action, as the name of the game indicates, is to simply imply something about the subject. you cant actually insult them, thats rookie league stuff. a good player of this game can say something to their subjects and make them think of why the comment was insulting. its kind of like at work (this doesnt happen to me at work but i think it does for others) when you think of an idea, but when its your idea your boss doesnt like it. so then you have to sort of manipulate your words to trick your boss into thinking he thought of it. it might not be exactly like that, but you get the idea. the best players can non-chalantly drop a comment so matter-of-fact-ly, and act completely unaware of the negativeness implied by the remark.

my go-to phrases for this game include "you would" "you know what they say about that" and "shocker".

the next time you are talking to a co-worker that you dont know very well and they tell you something that they did, just say one of those phrases (preferably "you would"). you wont believe the amount of offense that person will take. if they are just getting to know you, they probably wont like you very much.

Who is no longer on first...

i am sure everyone has been called the wrong name from time to time. well it is no different for me. in fact, because i am called by my middle name, it happens quite often. i am sure there are many memorable situations i have encountered, two of which i would like to share.

the first began when i entered college. i lived in a dorm and when we arrived the RA had posted signs on everyone's door with their name and their hometown. mine had my first name. there was a guy that lived across the hall who was a real friendly guy. he was real talkative and would sometimes hang out in or around my room. i guess he was just being resourceful the first time we talked, because he already knew my name. i failed to correct him when he kept not hearing other people call me by my middle name. months later we ordered a pizza. he ate half the pizza faster than even frese could. my first semester of college was half over, and i still hadnt corrected this guy. i felt bad. well, sort of. it was entertaining.

anyways, i was playing in a poker tournament while writing that paragraph so that should sort of explain why that portion of this post was so weak. i appologize to both of my loyal readers and will try and devote part of my full attention when writing entries from now on.

back to the second story. i have worked at my current company for 3 years. it has been an enjoyable time, highlighted mostly by the characters that i work with. it would not surprise me if at a time in the future there are more posts devoted to the people i work with. anyways, our office is in a high rise building that is not very wide. the lobby/elevator entrance is in the center of the floorplan and so our office is sort of circular. (side note, we actually switched buildings about a year ago, but the point is the same, narrow building with the lobby in the middle.) well, people who sit on the other side of the main lobby portion i like to call the others.

notice saying i like to call them the others sounds like i do it often. i dont not do it, but i also dont do it as much as it sounds like i do based on that word choice. but that doesnt make what i said wrong. in fact, its the truth. regardless, calling the others is one of my more favorite things to do on my way back from getting candy at the secretary's desk.

one of the others (i cant give away their gender, because, due to my occupation it will narrow it down real quick, and i prefer to keep coworkers unknown) is also talkative and usually goes out of their way to say hello. also, they were out of the office for a few months when i started so i was never formally introduced to them. well one day i was in the elevator with said person and they said something and told chris to have a good weekend. neither my first nor second nor last name are or resemble the name chris. clearly she called me the wrong name. well partly because i am jerk, and partly because it was funny, i never corrected her.

well for two years she called me chris. i never said anything. it was funny. plus, it had been so long that i thought it would be too awkward to try to correct her. because if i were her i would ask me why i never said anything. and i would have nothing to say except, "oh im sorry, i thought it was funny so i never corrected you."

the point of this never-ending story (such a good movie, along with the goonies one of my favorite childhood movies) is that today she said my real name. someone told her. she now knows that i am not named chris. i am not called chris. so i guess that little fun is over with for now.

but my favorite part is that she knows she called me the wrong thing for a long time. and better yet, she knows that i know that she knows.

poll

kellie pickler or katharine mcphee