thoughts on my way into work today

-whenever i am in the elevator, i see a sign that says something like 'persons carrying lighted tobacco products in this elevator are subject to a fine not to exceed $25.' the exact language might be slightly different, but you get the idea. i don't know the origin of that law, but i would have to speculate that when smoking was banned in buildings people started smoking in the elevators. the trouble is $25 doesn't seem like that much of a penalty, especially for smokers who spend tons of money on smoking supplies. if i were a wealthy smoker and the weather was really bad outside, i might prefer to pay $25 to smoke inside as opposed to freezing. basically, what i am saying is that since it is probably rarely actually collected, they might as well just make the fine $250.

-it seems that someone added 4 more air fresheners to our restroom. i don't mind these, but it seems to me that 4 is more than is needed. plus they are all placed next to each other on the sink, far from the toilets. and they are adjacent to 4 other cans of various aerosol air fresheners.

-the bus accident in atlanta happened on an intersection exactly like the one being built in maryland... (that i am working on)

-on uniwatch, there was a post about shoelaces that reminded me of when roger clemens wore ninja turtles shoelace holders on his shoes. i was in 7th grade and i went out and bought them also, and wore them for a few months on my shoes.

swing and a miss

i was supposed to attend a meeting tomorrow morning in delaware. since it starts early in the morning, and is about 2 hours away, work got me a hotel room. the timing wasnt great, as it was valentimes day, but morgan was understanding and so i planned on attending. we left work and ate dinner on the way home, because i needed to get on the road.

on our way home, there was more snow, and the roads were not in great shape. i was having second thoughts about driving out there tonight based on what i saw on the ride home. i thought of many reasons as to why i should or shouldnt go. well after about an hour of deliberation ( i am seriously downplaying the time i spent deciding... ) i decided to go. i hurried my stuff into the car and left. as i was leaving my neighborhood i considered getting gas (right across the street) but then decided not to. i didnt really need gas at that moment but knew i would for my trip. well as i approached the bay bridge i decided i should fill up the tank. it was getting low, but more importantly i wanted to get it in a place where i was familiar, as opposed to being low on gas in the middle of the eastern shore (i was going to take small roads for most of the way once over the bridge.) as i exited 50, i reached for my wallet. turns out it wasnt in my pocket. i had changed pants (into jeans for the ride) and forgot it at home. i seriously yelled the word 'dagger' out loud in the car. i checked the change and at first glance i estimated i had slightly over 5 bucks. probably just enough to get me enough gas to get to where i needed to go (total trip about 100 miles, bay bridge being about 30 or so miles in) i usually get about 30-35 mpg...

anyways, after some more consideration, i turned around and came back. i wasnt looking forward to checking into a hotel sans credit card. i think i could have somehow jack bauered it and made it work. but then i am not sure how i would have eaten tomorrow, or how i would have gotten gas for the ride home. not to mention if anything unexpected happened i would be without anything.

and the worst part is that since i waited so long to leave, it is too late now to turn back. i guess ultimately i made my decision. it just sucks because now i have to go into work tomorrow. and even though he wont be bitter, i am sure my boss will give me a hard time about not going. not so much that i didnt go, but that i called him and debated whether or not i should go because of the weather. and then finally decided to go only to end up not going.

at least i got to be home to celebrate valentimes day with morgan! now i need to go watch american idol and lost...

Tony Dungy owes me $201

Like many other people, I participated in a Super Bowl squares pool this year. In fact, I was responsible for organizing it. In previous years I charged $1 per square. The trouble is that some people want to wager $5, $10, or even $20. And there is not much excitement when a few people have most of the squares. I know last year we ended up having 3 different pools, all with $1 squares. Inevitably, some people ended up buying more squares than they wanted, in an effort to complete the grids.

To avoid that this year, I made the executive decision that squares cost $5. Well, the first day or so all the real gamblers bought squares. Most bought about 2, with some purchasing 4. The trouble is by Friday afternoon we were stuck around 60 squares. I did a lap around the office and was able to get about 28 more purchased. The Ben and I pretty much bought the rest. I think together we were responsible for about 23 squares. Anyways, we were able to draw numbers before anyone left work so everyone was happy.

Sometimes I hate being the person in charge of these types of things. I think that over 75% of the people made the same two comments to me. They picked a square, and as they handed over the money they either "so, how much are you taking" or "i want your numbers." Now I know that nobody said this seriously. Every person said it as a joke. The thing is on the humor scale this joke is a zero. It is not funny. And I guess I just got sick of hearing it. I didn't enjoy spending 2+ hours on Friday struggling to get it filled out. Nor did i enjoy buying 3 times as many squares as I wanted to. Not to mention its simple math. There are 100 squares at $5 apiece. That's $500 in prizes. It said on the grid that the payouts were $100 for each of the first three quarters and $200 for the final score. That equals $500. Where would my cut come from? And 62% of the office was crowded around my desk while someone other than I drew the numbers. So there is no funny business happening there. I know I am taking this a bit too seriously, I am just venting because I was annoyed.

Needless to say I was lucky enough to win the third quarter, so I guess it was worth it. The total prize pool was a dollar short though. One entrant dropped by my desk with a stack of money. They had purchased 5 squares and paid using a variety of bills. I accepted the payment, but was working on something and did not bother to count it. As the person was leaving they requested that I count it to make sure it was all there. I think they counted if quickly and like I said, it wasn't a 20 and a 5. It was a bunch of smaller bills including some 1's. Wanting to get back to work, I fake counted it. I sort of fanned it out in my hands like a deck of cards and nodded. Later in the day I really did count it, and it was a dollar short.

Then I began thinking... was this a test? Did the guy know he was giving me $24 but wanted to see if I would catch it? It is possible that he was going to try and get away with it but felt guilty so he suggested I count it. Then when I made the mistake he felt like he was in the clear. I do not think this is what happened. The guy is an honest guy and I think he wanted me to count it because he may not have. Or he did but wasn't confident in his count. In any case, it was over 2 hours later when I realized. And I had 'counted' it in front of him. How could I go back to him now and say "oh, by the way, remember when I counted it right in front of you... yeah well you are a dollar short."

After winning the third quarter I was pretty happy, but I was in great shape to win the final score also. I had Colts 2 and bears 7. Then Vinatieri did the unthinkable and missed that FG to dagger my chances. But then I thought I was in position again, as the Colts drove down the field with 4 minutes left. All I needed was the Colts to score 3 more points and I won $200 more. They got into FG range and then went for it on 4th down. They were up by 12 points, and they didn't take the chip shot FG. I understand there is some risk in the FG, and that after the FG you would have to kick off to the Bears. But you would also be up by 15 points. You would be assured that you weren't going to lose in regulation. The Bears would need to score twice in under 2 minutes and get the 2 pt conversion on the second score. Instead Dungy opted to turn the ball over on downs and sit on his 12 point lead.

I cant blame Dungy for doing this, but I would have kicked the FG. Despite the early mishap on the extra point, I think the chances of making that kick were over 80%. I understand the counter argument, but I think the chances of the Bears scoring twice in either situation is slim. And so for me, if there is a 2% chance they score twice after a FG and a 1.9% chance they score twice without the FG, I would take the FG because at least those 2% of the time you don't lose. Without the FG, if they gave up two scores they lose. Period.

I think the real reason Dungy didn't kick the FG is the same reason Bill Joel strolled through the national anthem- he had the under (surprise the line was 47 points)

Oh yeah, and guess who won the final score square? The $24 guy...

restroom choices and the people who make them

Before I begin, I wanted to give credit to sparks, who has already addressed this issue. I have thought about this a lot (on a daily basis actually) even before he ever posted about it. While he mentioned most of the key points, I wanted to share a few of my own thoughts.

There are many factors when choosing where to go the bathroom. I remember when I first saw this game, which covered most of the basic strategy. At my work, however, there are only 2 urinals (U) and 3 restroom stalls(S). They are along the wall, and for this discussion lets call them U1, U2, S3, S4, and S5. When using the urinals, the choice is fairly easy; in fact some would contend it doesn’t matter. I tend to agree, but could see why some prefer U1. The reason is only because U2 has the potential to be right up against S3, so in theory your feet might be within a foot of another restroom user. This might be a deciding factor in choosing between U1 and U2, but I actually opt for the cleaner choice.

In any case, the real decisions come in the area of the stalls. I would say that S5 (known as the VIP stall) is the top ranked stall in terms of facilities. It is the widest stall, and has hand rails (although who wants to touch them) on each side. S3 and S4 are equal, varying only in location. All three contain seat covers and dual action TP dispensing. I think that if all three are available, the most preferred stall is S5. It offers the most privacy and the most room. The only obvious negative is due to its location it is the stall that is most often, which increases the chances that someone will try to enter the stall while you are occupying it. This really only adds stress, as the locking mechanism is sufficient.

S4 used to be inoperable, because the lock was not functioning properly. However, due to recent maintenance upgrades the door is back in full swing. Previously you ran the risk of having the door open up while you were using the stall. S3 is what I call leadoff. This is because it is the first option presented when entering Stallville. Also, you are provided the least privacy in that every stall user passes by S3 and also because of the close proximity to U1 and especially U2. Depending on the degree of spread-eagleness used while in S3, it is theoretically possible that U2 and S3 could step on each others toes. Also, I have witnessed several co-workers number 1-ing in S3. I have never seen anyone number 1 in S4 or S5.

These are the physical considerations to make when deciding, but what is really important to an advanced user is the mental game. For example, in the case of emergencies, S3 is preferred. When you need to reach a stall as soon as possible, privacy and location go right down the tube. Another factor would be the mental cleanliness. I mean that if you know a lot of people have used the device before you, it is not delightful. I think S5 is the only choice that has ever ran out of TP, and the reason is because it is the most popular. If you are worried about sharing facilities with certain people, you are better off not using S5. Also S4 is stall-locked. If you don’t like having neighbors, than S4 becomes a non-option. Any future stall user will be located directly adjacent to you. On the other hand, if you are a footwear expert, this might also be called the information stall.

I think that S5 is the most popular, and until recently S3 was a fairly distant second. But as I said, S4 is back on the market and the usage is undergoing a re-distribution. I would say I visit the VIP stall the most, followed by S4 and then S3. I think a lot of S3 are creatures of habit. I don’t monitor everyone’s usage, but I will say I have seen a lot of the same people going into S3, and what’s more interesting is that I have never seen those people go in S4 or S5. I wish I could say I always choose S4, but sometimes it is just too hard to pass up the luxurious S5 and all that it has to offer.

Thoughts?

Maybe that's not exactly what she said...

I was just chatting with some co-workers at the water cooler (yes, this really happens) when I mixed in a "that's what she said." [TWSS]

There were two problems with this action. The first is that for the two co-workers, one male and one female, english is not their first language. The second problem was that they do not watch The Office. These two problems resulted in neither one getting the joke. I pretty much interrupted thier conversation just to crack myself up and say TWSS. I asked the guy how he was doing, and complimented him on his travel hot beverage container (like a spill-proof insulated coffee cup.) He replied something like 'thanks, yes the outside is cool looking" or something similar to that. I honestly can't remember. And then, unable to resist temptation, I blurted out TWSS.

Now I admit that my TWSS wasn't my best. And I am guilty of over-using certain sometimes hilarious phrases, although I am not sure this was one of those times. Well the guy responded with a courtesy chuckle, and I wasn't sure if he got it or not. As this was happening, he was already leaving the room. So after our exchange he was gone. It was then that the female said something under her breath. I couldn't hear it clearly, but it sounded like "I didn't say that." [GULP] Yikes, the only thing I had was the old "so, you drink coffee?" and judging by her casual response of "yes. a lot" I think I was able to play it off alright... (much better than the now imfamous 'How about those Redskins')

oh The Office

If you know me then you know I have always loved (and continue to love) The Office. Knowing that, it should not surprise you that today I put someone's cell phone in the ceiling. For your information, it worked just like on the show, minus the hole in the wall. I think of it as the first of many paybacks from this.

In any event, I suggest you find someone at your office who doesnt watch The Office and put their cell phone in the ceiling.

I still want candy

About a month or so ago, a co-worker brought a kid into work. While in our office, the child left a tiny pair of sunglasses. I am not sure if they were for the kid, or a prop for a doll or some other type of toy. In any case, these small sunglasses have been in our office for over a month. I first noticed the glasses when they appeared in our candy basket. I am not sure why there were there, most likely they got accidentally placed in there, perhaps even left behind by the child while making a dash to the candy.

Despite the fact that I thought this was an unusual place for such an item, I left them in the basket. The next day I walked over to get a piece of candy and saw the glasses had been moved. They were now located on the desk next to the candy basket. Being me, I moved them back into the candy bowl. At the time this action was nearly instictive. I guess I was half feeling that they for some reason belonged in the basket and the other half of me was trying to 'beat' the person who removed them.

Well a month later I am still replacing the glasses in the basket. It is clear that there is 1 person here at work who hates it. Everyday since then, I have taken the glasses and put them back in the basket. Then the next day I return to find them not in the basket.

The reason I bring this up is because yesterday I was unable to locate the glasses. There had been a slight evolution regarding the displacement of the glasses. The first week or two they were always placed adjacent to the basket. The after a week or two I would find them on the other side of the desk (on which the candy basket rests.) Then after another week or two I would find them in the kitchen. I am not sure why the remover would choose to relocate them in the kitchen. In any case I always brought them back to the candy bowl. Then last week they were in the copy room, inside a desk organizer that is intented (I think) to hold pens, pencils and perhaps scissors.

However, yesterday I could not find the glasses. It sounds like this is a game to which I devote much time each day, and that is not the case. I never really look for the glasses, I always just eventually find them during the day while working. But it was almost noon yesterday (just about the time I had the idea to blog about it) and I could not locate the glasses. I emailed my friends around the office asking them if they had seen the glasses. At this point in time I dont think anyone other than the remover even knew this was going on. Most normal people around the office probably noticed that the glasses were sometimes in then candy bowl, but they didnt care about it. Anyways, after my email Ben found the glasses in the trash can near the candy bowl. What is the deal with that? My rival just crossed the line.

So of course when Ben handed me the glassses I walked right over to the candy bowl and casually put it back in there. I felt slightly bad for the office becasue they now had an item that was in the trash can in the candy bowl. But the trash can serves really only the printer and the candy bowl, and the only things that are ever in it are paper and wrappers. Also all of the candy is individually wrapped, and I would say my co-workers hands are probably more contaminated than the rubbish.

After putting the glasses back, I walked over to chat with Eric. Upon returning, the glasses were already back in the trash can. Uh oh, my adversary had acted in a manner more prompt than ever before. Oh, let me also say that I feel fairly certain that I know who I am competing with. Without getting into too much personal detail, there is only one person in our office that I think would act in this manner. PS he also sits near the candy basket.

So I returned to the basket and was observing the trash reciptical when the suspected perp rose from his desk. Without making eye contact I grabbed a sheet of paper off the printer, began fake reading it, and retreated to my desk. Then once I saw the perp occupied at his desk (in the form of a visitor) I requested that Ben assist me and retrieve the glasses. Not to be confused with Jack Bauer, Ben was able to stealthly bring the optical device to me. Shortly thereafter I returned the eagle to the nest and snapped the above picture.

As of about 10:30 this morning, the glasses were still in the basket of candy among the laffy taffy and tootsie pops. It is worth noting that the suspected guilty party had not arrived at work at that time. He has, however, since entered the premises. And now I am not sure how long the glasses are going to remain where they belong.

I want candy

This is reminds me of Erics post a few months ago... Last week there was a box that contained 36 3 Musketeers bars. It was placed on a shelf at my desk on Thursday morning. At the end of the day, there were approximately 27 candy bars remaining (the pack contains 3 levels of 12 bars, and there were more than 2 full rows so I know there was more than 24.) On Friday, I was in the office only for about 45 minutes. I then left for 2 meetings and then went straight home. I returned to work this morning and there are exactly zero candy bars remaining. I am shocked. How can this happen? I know of about 5 or 6 other people who were also out of the office or on vacation or something on Friday. There might be 50 or more people who work in this office, but in any given day there are usually only around 40 people here. Last Friday I would estimate there were less than that, probably closer to 30. And somehow more than 25 candy bars were eaten. And these aren’t small candy bars, they are full size.

Honestly I am not at all surprised. It seems like anytime there is anything free around here it doesn’t last long. It is sort of annoying, although I really have no right to be upset. They weren’t even my candy bars (well they sort of were since another guy brought them in and gave them to me, but his intention was to take them to work to get rid of them, not to give me a personal gift…which is why I put them out for the taking.) I think the reason it bothers me is because I can imagine how people were scheming. I don’t mind at all the people who I am friends with eating them. I just feel like word got around spread like wildfire, and suddenly people were calling home to ask their kids if they want a delicious 3 Musketeers bar. And I think it bothers me since I wasn’t here. Yet I doubt it if anyone asked. They probably just walked buy and jacked one. I am calling it stealing because they are clearly in my desk area. I wish I had a hidden camera.

I am considering sending out an office wide email asking anyone who stole one of my candy bars to please bring me 65 cents. Or I could get another box and do something to them (I thought of many ways to do this but will leave it up to your imagination) then leave the bars out and never mention them. See who comes by and takes one without asking, then in a day or two leave a picture or some proof of me messing with them. [there still warm... i think i've had these before...]

PS you know you recognize (and love) the title of this post!

Online car purchasing

Below is a long email chain between me and a friend at work. He is selling his car online so I created a fake email address and have been emailing him about his car all week. I was pretending to be interested and asked as many random questions as I could think of. Start from the bottom and read up to follow the conversation. It is pretty funny.

(Start from the bottom)

------------------------------------------------------------
Then we called him again and while on the phone we walked over to guy's desk.

After the call, Guy wrote:

are u sure that wasn't u being ur own secretary? they said u were forgetful sometimes lol

Guy wrote:

ok i missed the first call because i was busy with somthing at work, but i just called back, and they said anytime for noon to 2 pm. i told him thats fine with me

(Now Ben calls Guy pretending to be my assistant)

Guy wrote:

oh u got a secretary? dont u think u should schedule it when u are free, i cant tell them i time for you to meet me, its up to you whenever you want to come

On 12/8/06 Timmmy Washington wrote:

can you please give my secretary a quick call in a minute to set it uptomorrow? i have to run into a meeting and am not sure how long it will take. the number is XXX-XXX-XXXX.thanks and i will see you tomorrow

Timmy

Guy Wrote:

what time do u think u can stop by? like morning, mid-day, afternoon?

On 12/8/06, Guy wrote:

yeah i know crossfires are rare, only seen like 5 on the road my whole life, but i;'ve been looking at them at dealerships for a while now. ok well i b4 going to quiznos for lunch

On 12/8/06, Tim Washington

crossfires are nice cars, although i dont see them on the road very often. remember that game called crossfire... and that catchy song that they played on the commercials. i have been saving for a new car for a while, but other things keep coming up so i have been putting it off since my current van gets the job done (for work, but its embaressing for personal use) since i cant seem to get an actual date with that girl kate i mentioned, I guess my goal for my new car is to have it before my friends work christmas party. i think it is next weekend. i am just going with her as a friend, since she doesnt have a date but wanted to bring someone. the place it is at isnt super fancy, but i think its pretty nice and i would prefer not to roll to her party in my van, or make her pick me up.i have talked to a few others about their cars, so hopefully i can get one by then. maybe even your galant...

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

i bought my car from workin at the XXXXXX. i worked there for like 7 months making 8.75-$10 a hr, and saved $6,000 , put that down. the car was $10,300 + tax, tags, and title=$11,300. plus $350 per rim, $150 per tire, +$100 for taillights + 375 for tints.=$13,775. but now that i got a new job with higher pay, im think im going to buy a Chrysler Crossfire.

On 12/8/06, Tim Washington wrote:

19 and you already own and are selling that car? nice work by you. as far as the mall goes, i need to get a tie or something (maybe a video game) for my brother and also something for my sister. i have no idea really. i was thinking abotu getting my parents a gift certificate to a restaurant or something. i think i have used up all the 'free yard work' as gifts, since I started my business it doesnt really count anymore. the party is at my house in canton. people will probably come over starting at 7 or so. nothing fancy.and if we do go to the mall, i hope we can take the Galant, otherwise we will be pushing a busted up white van with my company's logo on the side of it.

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

yea give me a call on my cell, i should answer it. if not just shoot me a e-mail. I am 19, what things u gotta get form the mall. i think i need to go to a few places. need to get my mom some PJ's, slippers, and somthing else. my dad some license plate holders, and maybe some camo seat covers for his truck. got to Victorias secret for my GF, and to some nail saloon for my sister. what time is the party and where is it?

On 12/8/06, Tim Washington wrote:

ok cool, i could give you a call tomorrow when i get off work. or if you wanted i could go to the mall with you, i have some shopping to do also. i know its kind of random but how old are you? i am having a party tonight and if you wanted perhaps you could stop by. maybe thats totally random, if so i appologize, just saying there will be around 10-15 of my friends and the age ranges from like 18-23. so if you were interested. if not, no big deal at all. let me know about the party tonight and/or the mall trip tomorrow.

Timmy

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

it doesn't matter to me, I'll be home most of the day, i think im gonna go to the mall for sme shopping but atleast not until dark. and i'd prefer if you didn't come before 10am.i guess anytime from 10 until whenever, but i guess u dont want to see it in the dark

On 12/8/06, Tim Washington wrote:

i dont really know, obviously that is the idea. she thinks i am in med-school though, which is becoming more and more of a problem. anyways, she wrote me back and said she couldnt make it saturday so nevermind about my idea of borrowing your car. i really should be free after work though to test drive it. what time is best for you? TW

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

sure will she put out?

On 12/7/06, Tim Washington wrote:

would you want to come on my date with kate?

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

no reason. um about that test drive. i think i would rather be in the car for the drive, or any questions, to make me feel better so i dont have to see u drive away in my baby, and its against my insurance policy. however you would be covered if i give you consent to drive and im present the entire time. Sorry but its just not worth it to me to have my car totaled on a test drive and not be insured. but if you can make it anyother time, or maybe stop by earlier b4 the date and we can go for a ride together

On 12/7/06, Tim Washingtonwrote:

i think columbia, not ellicott city. why do you ask? she is actually at nursing school in philadelphia. i dont think i can buy itbefore i test drive it. i was thinking i could test drive it from 4 pm until 2 am and after i drop off kate i would swing back to your hosue and give you the car back. then i could decide if i wanted it.


From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

Well be careful, dont get robbed or kidnapped on your date. i heard that happens alot online, its actually a guy or a bunch of them and they will jump u. does she live in Ellicot City? anyways yea u can test drive it until 2 am if you want, and if you got the total amount of the car in cash to give me first. yea sure, 4pm is good, are u talking about Saturday?

On 12/7/06, Tim Washington wrote:

not enough! i am at a different client pretty much every day of the week, so it varies. i might try and stop by this weekend if i have free time. i am trying to set up a date with this girl who i actually met online. well, i have never actually met her, just emailed her and she sent me some pics. anyways, you dont need to hear about that. i work until 2 pm sat, but if i dont have anything with her than maybe i can check it out. or do you think i could maybe come by around 4 before my date (if she says she wants to- i havent heard back from her yet) and then test drive it until like 2 am or something? that way i could show up to meet her with your ride?

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

ok, kinda figured somthing like that. what part of "Downtown" do you work in? how much lawn care is there in the city? so are u interested in stopping by this weekend?

On 12/7/06, Tim Washington wrote:

Blank road, nice. thats so appropriate because i have my own lawn manicure company. thats why i was asking about the bags of leaves and the trunk room. at time i have haul bags of grass clippings and trim trimmings and stuff. and it actually helps that the windows are tinted because that way people cant see what i am doing. technically, this will be a company vehicle, which is why i was asking about the decals on teh windows. i might have to put my business on the windows for some free advertising. also sometimes on the side i work with a pawn shop in town helping them sell things on ebay. i really just handle the ebay side of the business, i dont work in the store or buy any merchandise.

Tee Double U

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

I live in Baltimore County. from Canton I'd say less then 20 minutes depending on traffic. Im in the City right now tho. I work on St. Paul Street. my house is XX Blank Road Baltimore Maryland XXXXX, if you want to look up a map

On 12/7/06, Tim Washington wrote:

well i live in canton and work downtown during the day, how far away is your house?

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

lol not sure of any exact numbers for acceleration, but it goes pretty good. as far as spinners, i never really wanted them on that car, and never really even thought of it. the front seats recline all the way back until they hit the front of the rear seats. I've had people sleep my in my passenger seat almost straight back. and so far nearly every CD i've played is burnt and i have never had any problem. the sound system sounds great on CD. depending on what type of music u listen to, it can make some nice bass.

On 12/7/06, Tim Washington wrote:

does it accelerate quickly? i have a friend who lost his liscense (dont ask) and as a result he rides his bike. he can get moving pretty quick and among my group of friends any car that beats him in a 30 foot race is fast. do you think it would win? hes no lance armstrong(although he might also be on drugs) but he is pretty fast. have you ever considering getting spinners? i was thinking about getting them on whatever new car that i guy, but with your already sweet almost dubs i probably wont. do the seats recline real far back? i like to lean back while driving. do you ever have any issues with burned CDs? i know some cars work fine with normal cds but any cd that was burned can be trouble. i have a few burned cds that i occasionally like to listen to (when I am in classical mood or need to focus on something.) i guess i could always buy the real cd if this were a problem but then thats another 10 bucks per cd. sorry for all my questions- but i appreciate your prompt responses.

From: Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

lol no, it was like the first week i got my car and was coming home from movies and as testing it out. um i havn't named my car, sorry, feel free too. yes the all the windows except front are tinted, including the back. i couldn't say the tint is too dark. it is 35, meaning 35% light gets through.my sister was 30, which was illegal, and i thought that was too dark, and now she has limo tints, like 5%. I think they apply gfx to the outside, not sure tho. the guy at the tinit place (D&L tinting) told me. 35% u can see someone is in the car and tell they are a guy or girl, 30% u can sell somone is there, less then 30 u cant see anyone. the P brake is right hand, you can see it in the fron interior pic i send. the wipers are um. gettin a little old, AutoZone told me to change them every 6 months, and i last changed them in the summer but i think still work fine. perfect mechanically or course. 2 Washer nozzles on the hood spray it. as far was blind spots, not really, its got pretty big windows all around and its got a good view.

On 12/7/06, Tim Washington wrote:

115? have you ever been chased by the cops? is this car stolen? sike im just playing. sounds like the backseat wont be an issue. iknow it sounds stupid, but i figure if i am buying a car i might as wellthink about the little things and try and find the perfect car. does your car have a name? if not its cool, just wondering. is the back window tinted? are the windows too dark to see graphics if i put some on the windows? is the parking brake a foot brake or a hand one? do you notice any blind spots when you drive? how are the winshield wipers? T U U (get it?)

From: "Guy" To: "Tim Washington"

lol, yea that is the rear trunk pass thru, its nice cause u can haul larger things. lol yea i just washed my car yesterday, and i plan on washing and detailing it nice thei friday after work. yea the trunk is big, i barly use it. I'd the backseat is plenty big, the pics i took, both seats are almost all the way back, when no one is in the back the passenger usually goes far back for the most space. but the passenger can easily pull the seat up and give plenty room to the back. I haul my friends around all the time and i've got no complaints. Yes it is a V4. its not bad, top speed/pick up is not an issue for me. Honestly, I've be 115 in it and it handles and goes just fine.

On 12/7/06, Tim Washington wrote:

J Dein- yeah, sorry i have been really busy at work. the pics looked good. seeing the condition of the exterior, i would say you are ridin dirty... (which is better than rollin white and nerdy...) ha, im just kidding. is that a picture of the connection from the trunk to the backseat? that looks like it might come in handy for myjob. the trunk size appears large enough for what i need it for. also, how would you rate the space of the backseat? i have never been in a galant but hopefully there will be two average sized adults back there if you know what i mean... it is a 4 cylinder right? how would you rate the speed and pickup? i cant be picking up girls in a busted hoopty, i would rather be pushing a nice ride, which it seems like you have.

T-Dubs

From: "Guy" Guys Email To: "Tim Washington"

hey, just wondering if your still interested in coming by this weekend to check my galant out, please get back with me if your still interested

On 12/5/06, Guy

thats my ad on www.cars.com on the top tab click Kelly Blue Book Value, and input the information, v4 engine, 61950 miles, then u have to pick the options, (power sun roof, power seat, leather, premium wheels, rear spoiler) those will not be checked but u needto check them to get correct price, then scroll down and pressrecalculate. Private Party Value: 7,875 --$8,725-- $9,360, thats fair, good, and excellent KBB values. If you have any other questions u can mail back for just call my XXX-XXX-XXXX. RIP-BIG

TWash20 Wrote:

hey J-thanks for the information. i will let you know about coming to take it fora spin this weekend. the rims look pretty sweet. is the tint legal? it looks pretty dark... it has a pretty large gas tank, what kind of milage do youget? what grade of gas does it take? does it have a 5th (spare) tire? if so is there a rim on that one?do you know the volume of the trunk? can you fit two sets of golf clubs? four trashbags of bagged leaves? just trying to get a sense if it will belarge enough for what I need it for. i need some space for all my junk (andsome other business related stuff...)do you know how they get they get the KBB values? who is kelley and why is the book blue? is 8700 the lowest you will go? also i have a friend at work who is also interested, so i will pass along the information to him.

TWash

ps nice email address. RIP BIG!

From: "Guy To: "Tim Washington"

Hello, those are the only 3 pictures i took. but i can save some more if you want, i will get a few more angles for you. The car was in 1 minor accident. it was hit and ran in a parking lot, put a small dent in the right rear quarter panel. i had it professional repaired a reported. there was no major damage, nor frame damage, the repair was around $300 and only damages the quater panel. You cannot notice it now since the repair, the paint match is perfect. i do not have a history report, but if you are serious after a test drive i can get on online instantly. I plan on selling to buy a new car. this was my first car and it ran great for a year, but now i have a new job and more income and im ready to get somthing a little more expensive. the car runs great nothing wrong at all. the tires a about 6 months old on 18" chrome akuza rims. no blown speakers, no stains. its really in great shape. if you want to give me a call just just reply back with a time you would like to come by thats great. anytime on the weekend is good for me, just give me enough notice before you come.

On 12/5/06, Tim Washington wrote:

Hey- I saw your ad for your 02 XXXX and I was interested. Do you have any other pictures? Has the car been in any accidents or do you have a vehicle history report? Why are you selling it? Please send me some information and maybe we can schedule a time to meet this weekend so I can take it for a test drive. Thanks- Timmy

am i the only one who thinks like this?

it annoys me that the soda machine here at work is ALWAYS sold out of cherry coke. it is never sold out of iced tea's or orange sodas. heck, it isnt even ever sold out of coke or diet coke. why cant the guy who fills up the machine be savvy enough to notice that everytime he comes to refill, the CCs are all sold out.

if you sold sodas, and had a machine that held say 100 sodas, and you were choosing between 10 different flavors, how would you stock the machine? wouldnt you adjust the flavor distribution because you noticed the ccokes are a big seller? this is like a lose lose situation. the guy isnt making as much money as he can, and the people in our office are not getting the sodas that they want. and it really fires me up, because the solution is so simple.

i think i might go write a note and leave it on the soda machine.

Updated: Munchkin Results

I was going to post the results of the munchkin contest, but saw that Eric already wrote about it. I do want to give Jizzle (thats young Justine) and Ben credit for eating 45 and 36 munchkins respectively. While they fell very short of expectations, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Another guy in our office video taped it, so if i can somehow get a copy perhaps I will post it. (Warning, it probably isnt that interesting so I probably wont do it. However, the best part will be another co-worker from India breaking a silence by screaming 'Come on Jizzle!" That would be worth watching...)

fun things

I love The Office. Tonights episode was great, and I am glad to see they are adding some new characters.

Work has been fun the last few days. Yesterday, this guy at work said he wasnt going to come to the office christmas party because he didnt have a date. I asked him if I could try and find him one and he said I could. He has gotten three inquiries so far, two that had a picture. I really think he should bring one of them to the party.

Every Friday at work we take turns bringing in breakfast. Usually just bagels, sometimes people bring in other morning treats. Anyways, tomorrow the guy who needs a date is competing with another co-worker in a race to finish 50 munchkins. There is also a cash prize for the winner if the time is under 4 minutes. I would be surprised if one of them does eat all 50 in under 4 minutes, although I dont think it is impossible.

To Whom It May Concern

Dear coworkers-

I am writing to inform you that the urinals in our bathroom have flushing capabilities. I also wanted to let you know the purpose of such flushing is not only to empty solid contents. While I appreciate this style of flushing after using the normal style toilets, I ask that you extend the same courtesy after completing urination. I think that you think that because what you leave is only a liquid, it flows down the drain. You are incorrect. And we are not lucky enough to have those cake things in our urinal to combat the smell. As a result, the leftovers from your number one leave a strong to quite strong odor that makes me sick. Let it be known that I know who you are, because I have attended the restroom with you and witnessed this disregard for the silver lever atop the receiving device. I would hate to have to start taking a leak in your cubicle, but I will consider such retribution if your habits do not change.

Regards,
Brian

Oh Snap Amanda

Those crazy engineers

Check out what happened to my desk while I was out. Good times

slacker

long time, no post. and i wish my first post in nearly a week was better than this. but it is not. oh well, here goes:

Something that annoys me so much: the sixth floor workers in my building. The building that I work in has 19 floors of businesses. This does not include the 6 or 7 floors of garage parking that is above the lobby and below the 19 floors of businesses. In the lobby there is a separate elevator that goes only to the garage. There are also 2 sets of elevators. I am not an architect or a planner, but if it were up to me I would have set up the elevators different than how they currently operate.

The first set of elevators are marked Floors 1-6. The other set of elevators are marked 7-19. Since I work on the 17th floor, I take the second set of elevators. I think I might understand the logic, but I don’t think the operators are set up in an ideal fashion. Basically, there are equal elevator services for the first 6 floors of businesses as there are for the other 11 floors. I am thinking that if you include approximately 7 floors of parking garage, that makes 26 total floors in the building. And it would also mean that the lower elevators actually service the lower half of the building. So in theory, I can sort of understand why they are set up the way they are. But that is me hypothesizing why they are set up wrong. Even if I am correct, that doesn’t provide any satisfaction because they are still wrong. And this is not really a correctable problem.

Anyways, back to the annoying part. Yes, there is something much more annoying than the set up of the elevators. The higher elevators that I ride, which are marked 7-19 floors, actually service the 6th floor. The sign doesn’t indicate it, but it does. So those jerks on the 6th floor ride our elevators. And I know why they do it. They like express service. When they ride the upper elevators they are guaranteed to have a direct route to the lobby. It just seems so discourteous to me, instead of sucking it up and riding the elevators that they are directed to ride, stopping a maximum of 5 times, they ride the upper elevators and ensure everyone else is delayed by 20 seconds. I don’t think they think about those of us who have to ride to the 17th floor. We have like 10 potential stops and we probably average 3 stops per ride.

One day I want to get the courage to say something to those jerks on our elevator. I have heard stories of a guy who called the female rider from the sixth floor an insulting phrase as the door closed behind her, but I have never done anything like that myself. I think when I do, its going to be something like “you know every person in this building on floors 7-19 hates you, right?” I want to engage them in a conversation and I want them, at some point in the convo, to say “I don’t want to have to stop.” At that point I am going to make some rude remark about how annoying it is to make extra stops. I realize my master plan is nothing special and I know that our building isn’t some skyscraper. And it probably seems like not a big deal, but I think I speak for all employees above the 6th floor when I say that it really makes me mad.

Engineering Humor

10-12-06 Update: Sticking with the engineering theme (i love graphs) I wanted to post this figure. Notice yesterday was the highest traffic day on this site by 50%. I am not sure why... does The Bachelor commentary draw a bigger audience? I dont know, but thought it was postworthy.
It does appear that most of my readers check in while at work but not from home on the weekends...

-------

I think that most people don't think of me when they picture a typical engineer. They are probably correct in their assumption, however, the people that I work with are probably exactly like what they are thinking. The reason that I bring this up is because of what happened today at work.

I was in the restroom when two other coworkers entered. They actually were probably in there first, i cant remember. They conducted your typical mens bathroom chat. It is not unlike the typical conversation that occurs the night before Thanksgiving during your first year of college. You went to college and are home for the holiday weekend, so you hang out with all of your high school friends. Most likely you will encounter someone who you werent that close with during high school. The conversation goes something like this:

Hows college?
Good, what about you?
Pretty good.
Whats your major?
[major 1], whats yours?
[major 2]
cool

The mens bathroom conversation that i am speaking of is between two people who know each other but not very well. They dont talk to each other, only when in a confined space where they feel obligated [i realize this only really leaves the elevator and the bathroom.] Anyways its just small talk and nothing important. But back to today... I hear the normal talk and because we are in the transportation industy the conversation leads to the Washington Metro [the subway]. It is owned and operated (i think) by WMATA. One guy tells the other guy a story about his meeting with them today and how it was unproductive and stuff. This reminds the other guy of something he learned when he worked with WMATA a bunch of years back. Anyways, he recalls a story where on his first day someone told him what WMATA stands for. After some more analysis and hypothesizing, I hear the punchline. It means we meet and talk a lot. good one.

I'm sorry, but i didnt think words like and and a got recognition in acronyms. And I am also pretty sure that a lot is two words. Its arguable that it could have been called WMATAL or MWTL or something. I am not hating on the joke, but i didnt enjoy it nearly as much as those guys. [thinking further, maybe i am the real engineer since instead of just laughing i analyzed it and am still writing/thinking about it...]

the other thing happened only minutes later. it is not as strange as this, but exemplifies the environment in which i work. I am washing my hands, and a third guy makes the courtesy small talk with me. I respectfully engage in weak conversation while accelerating my hand washing and drying process. Anyways, eventually he asks how i have been and I reply 'pretty busy'. in our work terms that means we have a bunch of projects to work on, as compared to being pretty slow when you dont have much work to do or projects to bill your time to. anyways, after saying that i think i might have even thrown in a 'which is better than being bored' or some other equally meaningless phrase. in any case, he responds 'oh, back on the crack pipe.' he might have said 'oh, yeah not back on the crack pipe.' i couldnt even tell is he was asking or telling me. i also have no idea what it meant. i absolutely can't think of a situation where what he said makes any sense. and he chuckled as i walked out the door.

and he is one of the more normal people at work, or so i thought. there are a few people who would say this to me and i would not think anything of it. but not this guy. i have no idea what he was talking about. there is a chance i couldnt hear him since he was facing the urinal, while my urinal was flushing and the sink was running. i dont know. it doesnt really matter anyways, i could tell from his demeanor that he wasnt mad at me or anything.

i just thought those 3 minutes in the restroom painted a fairly accurate portrait of what it is like to work at an engineering firm.

What?

This post is about something I have been meaning to write about for a while. I know that there will be future posts on this topic because there are many things I have to say about it. This was not one of them, but it is so interesting that I decided to post it immediately.

I was just in the restroom at work. A guy, who I have never seen before, walks in. He goes right past the urinals and into stall number 2, more on stall locations and preferences in a future post. He makes some noise and then begins going to the bathroom. He is still standing. Hopefully that clarifies what number he is going (no the story is not about some random guy going #2 while standing, although if that happened I would also post about it immediately.)

In any case, after what seems like 7-8 seconds he concludes his action and fastens appropriate clothing. It is at this point that I am now washing my hands. I am not one of those obsessive germ people, but I certainly wash my hands after I use the bathroom. I also dry my hands and always grab an extra paper towel to use to touch the door on the way out. Because it seems almost pointless to wash my hands and then touch a door that was just touched by some other guy who was just handling his... it is not my personal germs that I fear. I wash my hands more because of the entire bathroom experience, not just because of what I touched. Honestly, my hygiene is strong to quite strong.

Anyways, back to the stranger. I am still washing away, using soap that actually smells pretty good. But not nearly as nice as the stuff they have in the womens bathroom. Dont ask me how i know. So mystery guy walks up to the other sink (there are two) and turns it on. Normal so far, except for the private number one-ing in the stall, which isnt that strange. I could understand that. So the water is running. I am nearly finished washing my hands and now am just checking out my game (hair) for the day. Doesnt look that good, and I could use a haircut. My eyes move slightly to my left as new-guy is also looking at himself in the mirror with the water on.

He is moving again. He is leaning forward. He reaches out with his right hand and makes it into a cup. He is having a drink. He sips twice, refills his hand, and repeats. He went to the bathroom, touched the stall door, the toilet, his unit, the sink and is now drinking. There is a water fountain 3 feet from the entrance to the restroom. There are also 2 different water coolers in our office. Then he turns off the water and moves towards the paper towels. At this point I have made eye contact with myself in the mirror and am cracking up. I try to make a fake deep breathe/sigh to cover it up but I am not sure if it worked. I turn off the water, dry my hands and follow him out smiling. Is this guy for real?

Who is no longer on first...

i am sure everyone has been called the wrong name from time to time. well it is no different for me. in fact, because i am called by my middle name, it happens quite often. i am sure there are many memorable situations i have encountered, two of which i would like to share.

the first began when i entered college. i lived in a dorm and when we arrived the RA had posted signs on everyone's door with their name and their hometown. mine had my first name. there was a guy that lived across the hall who was a real friendly guy. he was real talkative and would sometimes hang out in or around my room. i guess he was just being resourceful the first time we talked, because he already knew my name. i failed to correct him when he kept not hearing other people call me by my middle name. months later we ordered a pizza. he ate half the pizza faster than even frese could. my first semester of college was half over, and i still hadnt corrected this guy. i felt bad. well, sort of. it was entertaining.

anyways, i was playing in a poker tournament while writing that paragraph so that should sort of explain why that portion of this post was so weak. i appologize to both of my loyal readers and will try and devote part of my full attention when writing entries from now on.

back to the second story. i have worked at my current company for 3 years. it has been an enjoyable time, highlighted mostly by the characters that i work with. it would not surprise me if at a time in the future there are more posts devoted to the people i work with. anyways, our office is in a high rise building that is not very wide. the lobby/elevator entrance is in the center of the floorplan and so our office is sort of circular. (side note, we actually switched buildings about a year ago, but the point is the same, narrow building with the lobby in the middle.) well, people who sit on the other side of the main lobby portion i like to call the others.

notice saying i like to call them the others sounds like i do it often. i dont not do it, but i also dont do it as much as it sounds like i do based on that word choice. but that doesnt make what i said wrong. in fact, its the truth. regardless, calling the others is one of my more favorite things to do on my way back from getting candy at the secretary's desk.

one of the others (i cant give away their gender, because, due to my occupation it will narrow it down real quick, and i prefer to keep coworkers unknown) is also talkative and usually goes out of their way to say hello. also, they were out of the office for a few months when i started so i was never formally introduced to them. well one day i was in the elevator with said person and they said something and told chris to have a good weekend. neither my first nor second nor last name are or resemble the name chris. clearly she called me the wrong name. well partly because i am jerk, and partly because it was funny, i never corrected her.

well for two years she called me chris. i never said anything. it was funny. plus, it had been so long that i thought it would be too awkward to try to correct her. because if i were her i would ask me why i never said anything. and i would have nothing to say except, "oh im sorry, i thought it was funny so i never corrected you."

the point of this never-ending story (such a good movie, along with the goonies one of my favorite childhood movies) is that today she said my real name. someone told her. she now knows that i am not named chris. i am not called chris. so i guess that little fun is over with for now.

but my favorite part is that she knows she called me the wrong thing for a long time. and better yet, she knows that i know that she knows.